Sunday, September 26, 2010

This Isn't a Blog Entry

This is a test message to see if my mind is working. If this were a blog entry I would have a theme, a discourse, a point to make, a desire to convince, actually something to say.

The only thing on my mind at the moment is that I need to breakdown and add some minutes to my pre-paid cell phone and I am not sure why I am going to do that because I rarely use the silly thing even though I did send one text message when I figured out that I could actually do that but it wasn't answered which is a good thing because I really don't want to be an official text messager. A fellow at work asked what apps I had on my phone and I told him that my phone was voice enabled. It took him a moment to figure that out. I admit I was a little impressed when my step-daughter pulled out her phone to check the traffic before driving home after visiting but I don't fancy getting a dandy cell phone just to check traffic.

If I actually wanted an inquisitive public to read this I would include references to 'Honest Sex Advice' and 'Why Barack Obama is a Closet Conservative' and 'Facebook is a Socialist Plot', but I wouldn't stoop to such underhanded tactics. How about 'Dishonest Sex Advice'? Some people even throw in pictures just to draw in a crowd which is really stupid and shameful.  

Oops. Accidental picture insertion.

I do have another page on this here blog site cleverly named recipes. Yesterday I started to write a recipe to put on that page with visions of telling of multiple culinary delights in the months to come but when I tried to save the recipe it saved on this page which is not my recipe page....or maybe it saved on both pages at once. Anyway it didn't do what I envisioned and I got frustrated because I figured out that 'Google Monitors What I Do' and tries to thwart me at every turn. So I figured I would stop trying to be fancy and would just delete the Recipe page and just blend in recipes in this blog. But I was afraid to delete it because from studying the situation I couldn't tell if I would just delete that page or end up deleting the whole blog. I think I would switch to some other blog site but I just don't want to get confused again.

Maybe tomorrow I will settle down and write the recipe know, begin a collection of recipes for folks who aren't too particular how things taste. It works for a guy. Just seeing a guy stand in front of a stove will make women 'Crumble In Orgasmic Ecstasy'. If the culinary product is halfway decent there are breathless murmurings of "Oh, he really can cook". If the product is lousy the guy will get a heartfelt acknowledgment of, "Poor baby, at least he's trying." It is a no lose situation. It's unfair. Women can dice and slice and cook to precision only to be greeted with, "Hey, you got some ketchup?"
It was just last Thursday when I dined at a finer buffet in another town and I walked up and down and around the serving lines and was presented with a lot of divine fishy stuff and strange asparagus combinations and interesting sauces and pork tenderloins but.....well, I spied some mac and cheese and pinto beans and roast tenderloins and my stomach told me that was really what I wanted and I grabbed a plate full and ate it and went back for some more. It was pretty damn expensive rustic food -- but it hit the spot just right. Oh, I had a snazzy dinner roll with it too. It's not that I don't appreciate finer food...I've been obligated to eat at the best restaurants in New York and Boston even though what I really wanted was a hamburger and onion rings without that cadre of waiters hovering wanting to do things for me....or to me. This is what happens when you attend business meetings and afterward someone is trying to impress you with their 'Ebony American Express Card' and entree into exclusive places. I ate and smiled and talked and nodded appropriately while desperately wanting out of there.

Hold on a minute. Have to feed the dogs.

---a minute---

Hutch came and stood in front of me and howled. I looked at the clock and it was 5:36 and he and Buddy want to be fed at 5:30. They can tell time better than I can.

I wish I had something to talk about like 'The Man of Your Dreams is Waiting Here For You, Right Now!' or 'Spies Don't Look Like James Bond. True Spies are Fat and Unremarkable'. Instead I just sit here thinking about a little recipe that I will write about. Tomorrow maybe. Or the next day.

I won't apologize for this entry. You chose to come here of your own free will and you should be more discriminating. But kinda' glad you showed up anyway.


  1. Oh. Brother. :^$

    I do like that last picture a lot.

    I still struggle with the question: Is it better to blog on a schedule or to blog on inspiration? Did you answer that? I'm confused, but that's not unusual.

  2. Well I'm kind of glad I showed up too, it's always a pleasure and whether on topic or on schedule I always enjoy my visits here.

  3. My cellphone is so old I can't text on it. On the other hand, at least I have one. When my husband retired, he decided that he no longer wanted one.

    I'll check back with you on that recipe.

  4. So, are you going to post your recipe for scalloped potatoes?

  5. Funny you should mention the recipe page because that's where I was looking for you yesterday, clicking the link repeatedly and wondering why no recipes were appearing. Check your Canadian stats; I was positively haunting the place. I hope you will report back as to whether the photos and enticing phrases are successful at luring people...

  6. Thanks for reminding me to feed the dogs, and giving me a break in your blog to do it! Keep writing, I'll keep reading.

  7. That was a very sneaky blog. You managed to get all sorts of good Google-y phrases in there to trick people into stumbling upon this page.

    Well played, Jerry. Well played.

  8. I like your entry as we get a peek into your mind.;) And we all think heavy and important, maybe even defining thoughts from time to time. But at times we just thing of random, ordinary (boring) things, which make us human.;)

  9. You know, I was going to tell you to switch to WordPress blogging for the hundredth time. Were you could have pages and pages galore. But I'm becoming more and more jealous of your "My Blog List" and little box of "Google" followers pics that you just don't get with WordPress:-(*sigh*

    Clever and witty post as always lovely Jerry
    with love Caroline x

  10. "'Google Monitors What I Do' and tries to thwart me at every turn." I know this feeling well. At first I thought I was just paranoid - now I know it to be true!

    Great post Jerry.

  11. "Voice enabled" has just become my stock answer to the app snob's questions. Thanks big time.
    Funny post Jerry and you are right. The sexiest man in the world is wearing an apron.

  12. Great post, Jerry, random as it was! My favorite kind.

  13. You know...for someone who doesn't know what to write about, you certainly included an awful lot of SEO words...(don't be surprised if you see hits on your stats from ppl looking to "Crumble In Orgasmic Ecstasy".

    I could not imagine what my Jerry could be writing about with such a racy, risqué photo in his post. Now I know.

    It's all about recipes and phone apps for traffic, which I'm Googling as we speak. I need me one of those!

  14. well next time be sure you "write" a post. are you a cook?

  15. I can't decide whether you're truly confused or a closet genius. We came, we read and we commented. And all on a post which really didn't say much, yet left us hungry for more. Briliant.

    And why is there that odd dichotomy of cooking?? And why do guys like ketchup so gosh darn much?!


  16. I hope you were kidding, but calling me a tease was a poor choice of words in the context of the comments "Anonymous" is leaving. "Anonymous" is not anonymous to me and is supposed to have no contact with me, and that is why I had to unfortunately delete a couple more recent posts--for my protection, for various reasons.

    I will continue to blog, and I wish it could be more frequently. When I post something I try my best to put some time into it.

    I'm working full-time for a wage I could never live on independently and I'm getting a Master's Degree full-time for a profession that has no jobs either and the commute takes up much time. Those two things take up too much of my time. There will hopefully be a time soon when I can pleasure blog frequently like I did a few years ago. For now, they will be fewer as I get into a routine with grad school.

    As for your recent post, I'd try to cook, if I have a moment, what does not have meat included if it is not very expensive for me to do. I thought ---a minute--- was pretty funny. My cats also can tell when 5pm Friday and Saturday come around because it's TunaNuna Day (wet food). Oh, those animals...

  17. Lady Gaga scares the crap out of me. That is all. Carry on.

  18. Always a pleasure Jerry...your brain and how you think is always a blast of fun and mischief!

  19. Not sure why but reading this post made me hungry.

  20. Maybe I'm just slow, but I'll work out what this post is about in a while. Couldn't you put up pictures of handsome men (for some balanced argument you understand)?

  21. Well, now that recipe better be forthcoming, I've been waiting for your recipes since you put that header up there. Something Totally Texas maybe, like Chicken Fried Steak.... I shouldn't even think about it, makes me hungry.

    My cats go to bed at 9 PM after grazing all day.

    And yes, do so ramble more, its great.

  22. Oh, I remember the days when I was still frantically trying to avoid becoming an "official text messenger."

    Or would that be "text messager"? I don't know anymore.

    I'll take "Dishonest Sex Advice" for $200, please.

    Despite the lack of almost anything redemptive in Peter Jackson's remake of "King Kong" (except cooler monsters), one line stuck with me. It was spoken by the dashingly handsome actor starring in Carl Denham's would-be adventure film.
    "Heroes don't look like me, not in the real world. In the real world they've got bad teeth, a bald spot and a beer gut."

  23. The whole paragraph on the gender inequality when it comes to ROI of cooking is hilarious. "Just seeing a guy stand in front of a stove will make women 'Crumble In Orgasmic Ecstasy'." I am going to lie to my husband and say this is true.

  24. When I saw that you had this many comments (24) on this post and you have 64 followers. I had to stop for a minute. I totally forgot about the subject matter at hand. Why you ask?
    Because I'm thinking you may have one of the highest "comment per follower ratio" (.375) of any blog in the known world. At least any blog that I've ever seen (and I've seen a boat load of them). What does that mean you ask? The answer is simple, you have one darn AWESOME blog my friend! Seriously 38% (rounded) is awesome...while it's true that it isn't always that high, it's always high...
    Okay, I'll stop now!