..and then there was the time that the tree fell on our house.
I don't really know. I go into the back yard and over to the side of the house and there is a big tree plopped onto the house.
Did it damage anything?
I don't think so. The tree branches are holding it trunk off the roof.
You didn't hear it fall or anything?
Naw. We were probably too involved in intense intellectual discussion to be disturbed by such a silly thing. I would've thought the dogs would have reacted though.
They will attack a mosquito that gets into the house with maddening ferocity. But burglars and stuff -- they will lick them to death. You would think a tree hitting the house though....
Why did the tree fall?
They don't make trees like they used to, ya' know.
What are you going to do?
I'm analyzing the situation.
Getting out the chainsaw and going to work?
Well, I've studied the situation from many angles and from every angle I figure the application of my chain saw at any point is ripe for disaster. I am acutely aware that my best intentions usually don't work. Finally I called out the expert, and my wife said, "Oh crap!" She came to that conclusion without even studying the angles.
Finally she asked, "What are we going to do?"
...and you said?
I mentioned something about rope and block and tackle and she asked block and tackle where and I said I don't know...somewhere, because tree people always use blocks and tackles and she asked if I knew what a block and tackle was and this was an affront to my manhood and I told her it had to do with pulley things and she finally said, "You don't know what you are talking about, do you?"
I said, "Philosophically, yes."
Now what are you going to do?
I am reviewing my options. One shouldn't rush into these things. Let's see:
- Maybe I could claim Hurricane Ike damage...
Hurricane Ike was three years ago.
Maybe I could claim it was a delayed gust. Or maybe Ike shook the tree up and it finally just fell down.
I think you are going to have to face the fact that you need an expert to come out and take care of it.
Look. I have a tremendous respect for experts until I have to pay for them.
Maybe I could find a semi-expert.
I need to analyze this a little more.