Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Ungrateful Children

A few months ago I sent this nice little letter to my children and step-children:

With the situation of Marilyn’s Mom and all, I have been doing some thinking…especially about this growing old stuff.  It dawned on me that Marilyn’s Mom is just 27 years older than me, so I think I better start preparing.
I have come up with a plan. Since our 401K is shot and Social Security will probably collapse and Medicare is too complicated – I figure what we need to do is travel, sort of. When I retire, we figure that we could travel to your house, and your apartment, and stay for two weeks at a time. Let me count this up. There is, alphabetically speaking, George, Elleana, Kelly, Lindsey and Terrence. So that means you would have to only put us up every ten weeks. That isn’t so bad. By the way, Marilyn likes whipped cream on her deserts. I don’t eat fish. We both like to get up early in the morning, so coffee around 5:00 in the morning would be good. Oh yeah, we have two dogs – but they won’t be any bother.
If you get tired of this arrangement, and I don’t see how you could, you could go ahead and put us in a retirement home. It is retirement home, not an old folks place or a Senior Citizens Center. Marilyn prefers someplace on a lake with a pier so she can fish. I like mountains and it would be nice if the place had a bridge club and a library. So a retirement home in the mountains next to a lake with a pier would work. It won’t cost so much if you all pitch in. After all, you owe us. I taught some of you how to drive and as a result you have had a ticket-free accident-free….well, I taught you how to be good citizens. And Marilyn gave you birth which she proclaims is painful and messy. So, a retirement home would work out good.
Whew. That is a load off of my shoulders now that I know our future is secure.
P.S.  We go to bed around nine-thirty, so please turn down the TV around then.

...and I didn't receive a reply. Not one. I don't understand.


  1. Y'know, Jerry, they're only there when they need you!

  2. They'll come around,, lol.. every Christmas... lolol

  3. I knew I should have had more children! Great plan.

  4. I just don't understand kids today. Who could resist a deal like that. . . in-house wisdom for any marital or parenting issues; access to years of experience that can always supply a better way to fix anything; and, of course, convenient house-sitters who will rearrange all the kitchen cabinets, the pantry, the linen closet and the garage so that everything works much more efficiently for the returning homeowners. Gee! Go figure!

  5. LOL this reminds me of those RV bumper stickers "We're spending our children's inheritance."

  6. I bet they are just pondering over who gets you first, you know they all want to be first so there is your delay.

    I so want to send a similar letter to our kids now Ha Ha

  7. Wholly inspired, I am now crafting my own letter to my kids. There are only two, so the burden might be a bit heavier, but sacrifice is good for the character...and we should know.

    Frankly, I'm amazed that your demands are so few! I'm going to have to see your whipped cream and raise you one of those memory foam mattresses.

    Good'urn, Jer!

  8. Perhaps they've not replied yet because they are busy fighting over who gets you first. Or maybe pooling their money to buy you a nice vacation on an ice floe.

  9. Great post. It works too. My two kids are sharing me. Although when I got back to my little bunkhouse, my S-I-L looked surpised and said he didn't think it was his turn as he had sent the money to my son.... love'm they have been so good to granny...

  10. I think living on a cruise ship is cheaper than a Retirement Home...and the food is WAY better.

  11. What a fabulous idea! Of course, I only have the one child - but then, I remember when he was small and thought of me as his only source of entertainment and assistance. So it's only fair that when I'm ready to retire that I treat him the same! He'll love me all the more for it - right??!

  12. Funny, funny post Jerry. If they don't buy that, tell them you will put their names in a hat and draw one who will then be where you will stay ALL the time. Ten weeks will start to look good.

  13. can I borrow this letter? it's never too early to start planning :)

  14. A classic Jerry!
    When it comes to this subject, most of us are in the wrong culture...How are they going to take care of us, when they still expect us to take care of them...Geez! I wrote and posted the following poem some time ago...

    Forgotten Promises

    The days of your youth
    Are as precious as jewels to me
    For when you’ve grown and gone
    I’ll know pain from your leaving
    And sorrow from your being gone
    Will you be strangers to me then?
    And find me only when
    I know who none of you are
    You promised as children
    That you’d take me in
    And reassured me when
    I read to you
    This poem
    But you didn’t really know my mother
    And what a burden I’ll be
    Forgive me now
    As I hold you so dearly
    For this day will never come again
    Each morning you waken anew
    So I’ll hold you for now
    Before you grow up
    And forget your promises

  15. Oh my! That is hilarious!! I can't believe you didn't get a reply. I've already told my folks I've got their names on the list of one of the retirement homes around here. No lake, mountains or piers though. Lol.


  16. True Story:
    When I lived in Toronto I was standing in the driveway with my neighbour, same age as me, who was wrapping up his week taking care of his blind, deaf 95 year old mother still living in her own house (he alternated with his sisters)and he said:
    "You know? We're the last generation to do this, you and I are on our own when it's our turn."
    And he was right.
    Maybe your kids got that memo too?
    Thanks for visiting me Jerry, I'll be back!

  17. Not at our house yet. But we are actually planning to move to a retirement place nearby when it's built.

  18. Again, hilarious!!! That's it, I must follow you now :)

  19. Why do I find myself suddenly wishing I had given birth to a boatload of kids.... oh yup Marilyn is right.... :}

  20. LOL. Did you know that in Taiwan there is a law against abandoning your parents when they are old? Not making this up. LOL.

  21. They should have it in America...after you spoiled and given them them things and education they hate you and wishes you're not their parents. Sad thing about it is working two jobs to supply their needs and this is what you raised....unappreciative, disrespectul children. ):

  22. Amen Anonymous !

  23. I just traveled 1,000 miles took off 16 days of unpaid leave to come see my kids and granchildren who....think it's a burden to spend time with me.... partying,drinking and their friends are so much more important.I was a single mom working to job to pay the bills and they go around saying how bad their lifes were... no jordans ...BMW... or cells oh my what ahorrible life...beatings ?no starving ? no totally ungrateful so I cut a week of my vacation and now they are upset .....kids are just that ungrateful!