A few months ago I sent this nice little letter to my children and step-children:
With the situation of Marilyn’s Mom and all, I have been doing some thinking…especially about this growing old stuff. It dawned on me that Marilyn’s Mom is just 27 years older than me, so I think I better start preparing.
I have come up with a plan. Since our 401K is shot and Social Security will probably collapse and Medicare is too complicated – I figure what we need to do is travel, sort of. When I retire, we figure that we could travel to your house, and your apartment, and stay for two weeks at a time. Let me count this up. There is, alphabetically speaking, George, Elleana, Kelly, Lindsey and Terrence. So that means you would have to only put us up every ten weeks. That isn’t so bad. By the way, Marilyn likes whipped cream on her deserts. I don’t eat fish. We both like to get up early in the morning, so coffee around 5:00 in the morning would be good. Oh yeah, we have two dogs – but they won’t be any bother.
If you get tired of this arrangement, and I don’t see how you could, you could go ahead and put us in a retirement home. It is retirement home, not an old folks place or a Senior Citizens Center. Marilyn prefers someplace on a lake with a pier so she can fish. I like mountains and it would be nice if the place had a bridge club and a library. So a retirement home in the mountains next to a lake with a pier would work. It won’t cost so much if you all pitch in. After all, you owe us. I taught some of you how to drive and as a result you have had a ticket-free accident-free….well, I taught you how to be good citizens. And Marilyn gave you birth which she proclaims is painful and messy. So, a retirement home would work out good.
Whew. That is a load off of my shoulders now that I know our future is secure.
P.S. We go to bed around nine-thirty, so please turn down the TV around then.
...and I didn't receive a reply. Not one. I don't understand.