I feel so sick that I don't want to do anything. I don't want to watch TV. I don't want to read. All I want to do is lay around and moan and complain how sick I am. Marilyn is tired of hearing it, so now I turn to you. I mean, if one moans to no one, is it really a moan. I need moan recipients.
It is called allergies. I learned a few years ago that I am not fit for earth habitation, except for maybe Antarctica. Some
The second message was that I should take shots every week to build up an immunity. I asked why I wasn't immune to chocolate because I had been taking that all my life and they apparently felt that it wasn't a sincere question because they never answered it. So, dummy old Jerry, signed up for six shots a week every week so that by the time I was on my deathbed I would be immune to everything, except death I guess.
Did I tell you that I hate shots? Did I tell you that taking (let me think....6 times 52 time 2...uh..) 624 shots did not make me immune to my hatred of shots. After my 624th shot, I said screw this. Nothing had changed, except that my fear of needle bearing nurses grew. They said that I would probably have to take the shots five years which is (let me think...6 times 52 times 5...uh,,) 1,560 shots. They wouldn't consider my idea of taking one big shot and get it over with. So I stomped out refusing any more shots. I would show them.
I figure that allergies are a natural phenomena (or is it phenomenon? I get confused.). Life balances out. I get sick so that others will not get sick....they are only so many allergens to go around. But I am not totally altruistic. I also figure that allergies probably help my body in some way that science hasn't figured out yet. Some day you non-allergy people will be jealous to find out that we allergy people have highly developed appendixes or something.
At least it only happens twice a year, in the fall and in spring, which just happens to be the precise time when I want to be outside. Tomorrow I go to the expensive doctor which will give me an expensive prescription. Actually, it is more fun to sit around and complain.
So thank you for listening to my moaning, and if I have touched your heart, pray for me and send money. I am working on a theory that money will cure it. Those skeptics among you will snort and tell me, "Well then, it must be psychological then." Let's see if you are right. Send money and I will tell you the results.