At War With HGTV and DIY

Our Super Agent Marie said that we should be madly packing right now. She doesn't understand that we don't madly do anything. We will go about our packing business sedately, complaining all the way. And take a lot of coffee breaks to pat ourselves on the back that we packed three boxes today.

We will soon be moving to another house. I think. Super Agent Marie tells us that everything is go, except for this and a little of that, but it is all falling into place. Marie is optimistic by nature. I, in turn, concentrate on planning. I have found that one can make a career out of planning -- in fact, I have. The trick is to plan and plan and figure that somehow the work will get done.

As you can see I am talking about personal stuff. My Chief Critic and Adviser Marilyn tells that I need to blog about personal stuff because that is what people want to read. She says that when I write about history or 'facts' people turn off. I start to reply that I don't care about what readers think -- but then I figured I better be careful because that may not be 100% true.

But you see, moving has presented us with a conundrum. I think it all has to do with HGTV and DIY, which are two television networks whose mission it to tell you that you are doing everything wrong.

To begin, we are moving into a smaller house, and our bigger house furniture simply will not fit. Logic says sell the stuff or give it to the kids or have a garage sale or donate it to somebody. With this in mind we can: (1) simply move and tag everything that is to go and then get rid of the rest; or (2) get rid of the rest now and move what is remaining. But HGTV and DIY has explained to my wife that we have To Stage our house in order to sell it.

Staging is based on the premise that buyers are too stupid to imagine what an empty house will look like furnished. So you need to present a furnished house to prospective clients with no clutter. (Did you know you aren't not allowed to show family pictures!) There are actually companies that will come in and put temporary furniture into your home for staging purposes.

Who comes up with these ideas? Somehow in years past houses got sold that were completely empty. To my way of thinking I would prefer to see an empty house so I can imagine where our furniture might go. In fact, the house we are buying was empty. But it seems that I am old fashioned in my thinking.

So you see the conundrum here. Do we move just what is essential and leave enough to stage the house? That sounds like a double move to me. And when and where and how do we get rid of the furniture that we need to get rid of. Post staging?

I've called AT&T and asked if they can remove HGTV and DIY from our channel line up. Nope.

I've given a thumbs down on Stupid Staging but Marilyn is convinced we have to do it.

And then Marilyn told me we have to replace the bathroom faucets. Why? Because they are gold.

I wisely comment: "I don't understand. We like our faucets. We are happy with them. What's the problem?"

Marilyn responds: "On HGTV when they show houses to people, if they see gold faucets they react with 'Oh my God. Gold faucets. How horrid!'"

Foyer Light (with nowhere to go)

I'm here to proclaim that HGTV does not set the standard of acceptability. I am adamant that we leave the faucets as they are and if buyers don't like it, I don't want them to buy my house! As you can see, my forte is logic.  


Oh, and she says we have to replace the vintage foyer light which she got off Ebay because no one else will appreciate it. Do we have a place for it in the new house? No, but... Then there's the problem of the custom built fireplace mantle (also an Ebay acquisition). Do we take it with us or leave it in hopes that it will help sell this old place? And on and on and on.

Mantle (take or leave?)

There is so much more going on. It seems that we have to buy a new refrigerator to go in the new house because our current refrigerator is not stainless steel like the other appliances. That sucks, and I don't even like stainless steel appliances. I am buying the house in spite of stainless steel appliances, just like someone can buy our house in spite of gold faucets. Then my dear wife is insistent that we replace most of the light fixtures and put crown molding throughout the new house. I think HGTV and DIY suggested that. Then we have to buy shelving and cabinets because all of that stuff in this house is built in. Oh yeah, she figures we definitely need carpeting in some of the rooms because the dogs can't scramble around on hardwood floors. I think there is more. I can't remember.

Books - No Bookshelves to take them to

So planning to move is not an easy thing. The general plan is to move and then fix up the house we are moving from with fresh paint and a nail here and there and then put it on the market. Seems straight forward. But when we start getting into the specifics. I can't figure out the order of activities.

So the plan is....to plan and figure it will somehow fall together. Oh, and pack a couple of boxes today.

There. I've just written about Personal Stuff.