Friday, April 13, 2012

Patterns Upon Patterns

We closed on the house Tuesday which was the day after I got my Ultrasound which was precipitated by a doctor’s visit to treat itchy hives. The treatment was for ant bites which it seemed I was allergic to but not really. It turns out I was allergic to high doses of oral penicillin which I received for an infected tooth but this has nothing to do with the house we closed on. Neither does the MRI I am getting next Tuesday – and I have to take some time off work to do that. Did I mention that I work nine hours a day?

You see, they say one should start a story at the beginning which is pretty easy if you can figure out where the beginning is. It is when patterns are overlaid with other patterns you step back and look at it and ask, “What is it?”

Who knows? But I’m pretty sure that we now own two houses. It is pretty hard to keep up.

I think that at this stage of my life, which can be described as decrepit agedness, I am supposed to be relaxing and refreshing in the joy blissful...whatever, bliss. Apparently someone didn’t get the memo…I mean email…or maybe it was a tweet.

We plan to move to the newer and smaller house after it is renovated a bit with things like carpet and paint and crown molding. Then when we finally move, one would think that I could then sit back and succumb to a peaceful lifestyle. But no, then we have to figure out what to do with the house we are abandoning. We are exploring options. But whatever the case, it will then have to be renovated with painting and re-plastering the swimming pool and throwing some sheet rock here and there. All of this is the first pattern.

Overlaid over, or maybe underlaid under all of this is damn doctors. You see a tooth started hurting and the dentist surmised that I had an infection and prescribed penicillin to knock it out. Five days later, on a Friday afternoon, I got bitten by a bunch of fire ants. It was annoying, but no big deal. The next day I started itching. Two days later I had welts all over me. Being mathematically inclined, I put two and two together and went to the doctor and told her that I had an allergic reaction to fire ants. She gave me a shot. The next day I had even more bumps and walked around itching and scratching like mad. Finally, the third day after the shot, it suddenly hit me. I was taking a lot of penicillin! I stopped taking it. A day later the itching stopped. Two days later the hives went away. While all this was going on Marilyn and I were packing and texting back and forth to Super Agent Marie and negotiating and drawing up plans trying to figure out what furniture would fit in the new house.

But the underlay has another layer. While at the doc for itching I mentioned two bumps that had appeared on either side of my jaw on my neck right below my ears. Marilyn has discovered these two things a month or so ago and said I should go to the doctor and have it checked out. So I used the itching opportunity to do just that. She hemmed and hawed and speculated that they may be related to allergies but just to be sure she wanted me to get an ultrasound. So we went for a pre-closing inspection on the house. Oh, I think my overlays are seeping through.

I got the ultrasound the day before closing. The technician was ironclad in office policy. “Well, what is it?” “I can’t say.” “Are they big?” “I can’t say.”  “Is it cancer? “I can’t say.” “What is your name?” “I can’t say.”

We closed on Tuesday afternoon which meant that Marilyn had to spend that morning getting her nails done. I, meanwhile, stayed busy on the phone, computer, and texting trying to work out a last-minute problem concerning the home warranty. By the time we arrived at the title company (late because they had moved without telling us), we were both frazzled and in need of a stiff drink or a nap. I then signed a zillion documents and passed them to Marilyn so she could sign them (with her freshly done nails), and then passed them to the Title Lady who signed them. A fun way to spend three hours.

Well the ultrasound results came back and I had to report to a surgeon for a presumed biopsy, which as I understand it, involves sticking big needles in me. I was stoic. I girded my loins. But I wasn’t prepared for the doctor’s reaction. “That is odd!” he said. He was baffled why two bumps…tumors?...had appeared on both sides of my neck at the same time. “That is odd.” He said this four times. Apparently it is so odd that he is making me get a MRI. That is scheduled for next Tuesday.

As soon as I left the surgeon’s office I got a call from Marilyn saying we had to hurry to the new house because the painters were meeting us there. That was yesterday. Tonight we just finished meeting with the carpet estimator.

Why am I telling you all this? To explain why I haven’t been here, why I haven’t written, why I haven’t even looked at this site for a couple of weeks. I’ve been a little busy. It also explains why I may be absent a bit longer. Marilyn has explained that we need to go buy a living room rug tomorrow, which happens to be thirty miles away. You see, Marilyn is in charge. She is the house coordinator. Oh, she also mentioned that I haven’t blogged in a while. Sigh…

Oh, and my tooth is beginning to hurt again.


  1. You HAVE been a bit busy!

    Don't you hate it when doctors act like whatever is wrong with you is the first-ever case of whatever it is? I get that reaction so often I'm beginning to think I should donate my body to science.

    In the meantime, I'm sure those bumps are nothing - probably stress related, you know - since it sounds like you've been under a lot of stress.

  2. Ooohhhhh Jerry! This explains alot...

  3. You're very good at this layering thing :) It might not seem like it at first, but really you patterned it all together quite nicely. I only wish the scary possibilities weren't woven in there but then again, what's a good story without a little bit of suspense? Here all this time I was worried about the tornadoes when all along it was moving and bumps!

    Well my friend, I'll be praying for you for good news and for a reprieve from all things itchy. :)

  4. I agree with Adrielle - the layering approach really worked well.

    I hope all of this aggravation soon passes.

  5. I loved this story, but I'm really upset about the bumps. Please let us know how everything turns out with the MRI and the biopsy. Normally, I'd be very interested in all this house stuff, but now it doesn't interest me in the least.

    Update when you can!

  6. Jerry, please keep us posted, if you can.

  7. This made me think of Shrek, all the layers, like an onion, or parfait. I hope your layers are parfait, unless of course, you would rather have onions.

  8. Jerry I have been worried! I had emailed and no reply and VERY unlike you. I was thinking this morning that something must be wrong :( Glad its being busy, but awful that it's busy with the doctor. Let me know what happens and if there's anything I can do. I should be down there for a short trip this weekend if you need anything!

  9. The toothache may be caused by the bump. Just hoping that that MRI shows nothing much. You don't have time for health issues. Too much work and moving!
    May it all go smoothly.