If you will look closely at my blog format you will see that I now have two pages in my blog. Impressed? You should be. I did that all by myself. I discovered a gadget that will allow me to have separate pages on my blog. I wanted this. I clicked on the gadget and I couldn’t figure out what to do. Was I distressed? Naw. This is typical. To most of you this computer finagling around is intuitive. It’s not to me. If it isn’t spelled out in discrete steps, I just sit here with a blank stare. But somehow through my clicking and grumbling I achieved the elusive goal.
So I have two pages: Home, which is where you are now; and Awards. If you click on Awards, you will find… nothing. I want to slap my awards in there, but I can’t figure out how to do it. I’m sure that in the days…weeks to come, I’ll bumble my way into it.
You will note that my posts come in a variety of format flavors. Sometimes there seems to be a bunch of space in between my lines, and on other posts there aren’t. There is a reason for this. I don’t know what I am doing. I do my writing in Word and copy it into the blog thing. I’m told that I shouldn’t do this because Word has a lot of embedded stuff that tends to screw things up. But I am comfortable with Word because I am a fast typist (that is a lot of Words per Minute, not Correct Words per Minute) and I will march fast and furiously along and then look up and see green squiggly lines throughout a whole paragraph. This is Word’s way of telling me that not only is every sentence in the paragraph grammatically incorrect, but that those sentences probably make no sense. Word is usually right.
All of us have written vignettes that we are particularly proud of, but they are buried somewhere in our posting archives. This is a problem. We as blog readers always latch onto the latest entry and rarely delve deeper. I wonder if I can entice some of you to read what I think are pretty nifty entries?
1. I wrote a treatise on how to save your marriage once. I was pretty sure that I would’ve won an award from the ‘Marriage Counseling Psycho-Therapeutic Association of Northern Tennessee and the Rest of America’ (MCPTANTRA), but they probably didn’t read it. The opportunity is now re-presenting itself. It is intriguingly entitled The Clasp. Your marriage may be perfect now, but it won’t always be and this entry may fix things right up.
2. Then may I direct you to my continuing marriage counseling efforts with A Scalloped Marriage. I submitted this to MCPTANTRA for peer review and subsequent publication. I haven’t heard anything. It must’ve got lost in the mail.
3. For those with a prurient titillating bent I offer this analytical expose of unbridled passion. The Kiss. Perhaps Penthouse magazine will grab onto this one and pay me a bunch of money to publish it.
4. And finally, a psychological thriller of ‘one confronting oneself’ in Desert Musings.
This is a picture of my sister, Sally, and me. I include it here because I have read that one must have pictures in their blog or…..I don’t know…something bad will happen. This picture puzzles me. The hem in Sally’s dress has obviously come loose. Now my mother would never allow us to wear anything that wasn’t in perfect order. So the dress malfunction must have recently occurred. I did say the other person was me didn’t I? I mean me way back then, not now.
This is me, from a few years back, holding up the side of a mountain. This serves to confirm the lies I have told you of my strength, vigor and deep-rooted frontiersman spirit.
The key, I am told, to grabbing readership is to have an interesting blog title and I have to come up with one for this entry. I’ve mentally tried “Rambling through the Blog Thistles” and “Not So Curious Observations” and “Explicit Sexual Content”. The first two are boring and the last is a lie. But then it occurs to me to come up with a blog title that few would understand so that would make them curious. Provide sort of a delayed disappointment. (It’s easy to do. Just utilize a free online language translator. So now I have translated my first boring title into something mysterious.)
Now I’ll leave you with a picture of my kids from way too many years ago. This is just to make sure something bad doesn't happen.
MAJOR EDIT: AT 4:49 PM ON APRIL 20TH I FIGURED OUT HOW TO POST PICTURES ON MY AWARDS PAGE!