Pot Purry

Don't you mean potpourri?

I thought I got rid of you a couple of weeks ago.

I'm always here -- your paranoid other self, your conscious, your kick-in-the-butt to provide fodder for your writing imagination, your...

Can it! I have a headache and think I will go back to bed.

You are ducking the fact that you are a cheater?

Huh?

Don't you read your comments? It was asked if you make up your recipes, on that dismal recipe blog of yours, without actually cooking them. She postulated that you just sit here and make up culinary conglomerations without ever setting foot in the kitchen.

She is just trying to get me to invite her over for dinner. I get that a lot.

No you don't. Again I see you are evading the question.

Why don't you answer the question? You eat the same thing I do. I'm not sure I would be capable of making up a recipe sitting here....well, I think I have a Rachel Ray '30 Minute Meals' book. I suppose I could take something from there and re-write it. Actually that is an interesting idea, something like 'How to Turn 30-Minute Meals Into Two Hours With No Effort At All'. Rachel would probably sue me and we would end up having to meet and she could autograph her book...and who knows, she would probably have me on her show. I could...

Stop wandering off into dreamland. Do you cook the damn recipes? And why are there only three of them in your stupid recipe blog?

I am going to put in another recipe this week. A dessert with berries.

Boring...

And like the other three....I have prepared them all and they have been taste tested by me and my less-than-enthusiastic wife. I cook then write....maybe years later.

Well, I guess this concludes today's blog.

I'm really concerned about people changing things without asking my permission.

What are you talking about?

Someone changed that children's prayer, you know:

“Now I lay me down to sleep,

  I pray the Lord my soul to keep,

  If I should die before I wake,

  I pray the Lord my soul to take.

 Amen.” 

How did we get from recipes to...

They changed it to:

“Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep,

Guard me while I sleep tonight,

And wake me safe at dawn's first light.

God bless Mommy; Daddy, too,

And help me to always be true to you.

Amen.” 

Okay...so what? Who changed it?

I figure it was the Damn Revisionists. They always want to protect us because they figure we aren't smart enough to protect ourselves. It may give our children nightmares worrying about dying before they wake. I never got nightmares. Who do they think they are?

So the old ways are better?

Yeah. I mean we could get really old and inform the public where that prayer actually came from. It was an adaption of this old English prayer:

“Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, bless the bed that I lie on.

Before I lay me down to sleep, I give my soul to Christ to keep.

Four corners to my bed, four angels there aspread, two to foot, and

two to head, and two to carry me when I'm dead.

I go by sea, I go by land, the Lord made me by his right hand.

If any danger comes to me, Sweet Jesus Christ, deliver me.

He's the branch, and I'm the flower, pray God send me a happy hour.

And if I die before I wake, I pray that Christ my soul will take.”

That's really not too interesting, Jerry. What is interesting though is your insistence that we should keep things the way they were.

Stupid people are sticking their noses in changing stuff.

You mean changing stuff like:

Or this:

This blog is getting too long.

I see. We need to keep things the way they were.

I didn't mean that. This is getting way, way off the subject. 

Well Jerry, you were the one trying to figure how to get those old ads in your blog.

Actually, I sort of like this one.

So you wanted to get a children's prayer and sexist ads into a single blog. Your mind is a strange thing.

Actually, I wondered if I could take three disparate subjects and successfully weave them together into a single essay. It's not easy going from recipes to prayer to ads.

And you think you did this 'successfully'?

We left out an ad. Look: